LEARNING TO TRUST
EP #01
I had no idea that I gave certain parts of my life to God and I held on to other parts for myself. I was the one in control of my life.
No.. I am not a control freak or anything, I just realised I didn't give God full CONTROL of my whole life.
​
I AM BEING RAW AND HONEST with you, this is a part of my life no one, not even the closest people in my world have seen or heard. It's time to share. Just a heads up...this will be long. So if you want, just listen to the short podcast of a few minutes. Okay here goes...
​
What you hold on tight to, witholding from God, may be different from me, however we all hold something precious to us, tighter than we should, maybe because we think if WE are in CONTROL, it is better than TRUSTING God and giving Him control of all areas of our life. It's like in our mind there is a possibility that what we want for our lives is better than what God is wanting for us. That could just be me though...
​
Okay....in this podcast I briefly mention it, however, the area I didn't TRUST God in before I had the MASSIVE revelation I shared about, is........
It is unusual...it is so far fetched...yet I had a massive, life controlling FEAR that a life with God completely at the centre, a life laid down for Him, where I only need Him was a life where God would take everything from me....
I know it's weird....you probably don't have this..
I would think that the moment I gave all of me to God, all the areas I held onto...that in that moment..everything else would be taken from me. I had clinged to parts of sermons, random sections in people's autobiographies, that when they gave their life to God and followed the call and the mission on their life, they lost loved ones, they lost everything, it was so hard....and so I had a thought for some reason that, the more I step into what God wants for my life, the more he will take from my life. So I didn't TRUST Him. I only realised this crying on the couch with two of my close housemates just this year.
This distorted perspective of God and His character was why I held on to some parts of my life, I wanted control of some areas, so I never fully gave God all of me, I held on, enough, just to say that 'God wasn't enough', in FEAR that if He was enough, everything else I love would be taken away, MY MUM, MY FAMILY, MY DREAMS. I would believe that if I TRUSTED God with my dream to see nations know Him, that He would say, you have to lose everything to do that so you have nothing else but me, and in return do whatever it costs to bring Heaven to Earth.
​
This is not true! This is a lie!
I believed something that should never have had ANY power, and in return, I STOPPED TRUSTING God. I also stopped trusting people...it went on. It was like all I had was myself, I could only TRUST myself.
​
I am on a journey to discover more of God's character, loving, kind, generous...and to be honest I am still learning.
​
What I do know though, is that HE DOESN'T TAKE AWAY just because YOU GIVE HIM EVERYTHING!
When you don't GIVE HIM EVERYTHING, he can't work with the areas you're holding. The areas you're holding, sometimes, are the ones that will move you forward into your God given destiny. ​
​
I know He takes us by the hand, he walks with us and blesses us with relationship with Him. In this slow learning process of doing life with Him and letting go of control, TRUSTING again, I discovered that God has a PLAN for you and ME. We just need to TRUST Him again..
​
Nowhere in the bible does it say God will take everything from us or hurt us when we spend time with Him and give him all of us, every area of our life for His glory.
​
So now...my heart can be abandoned in worship, immersed in God's word and okay with being alone in my room just talking to God. This closeness, giving God all of me is okay.....why? Because of who He is, because He is Love! Because He teaches me daily how to TRUST Him again.
​
I know this can happen for you right now. You don't have to go another day holding onto something that, once in God's hands, can be so much greater. I pray you know this too. I also pray this makes sense to you for whatever it is in your life that you won't hand over to God...what FEAR you have attached to that. It can end today. Give it to God. TRUST AGAIN. Lets do this together, let go and TRUST together and start Doing Things DifferentLeigh.
​
Love J xoxo